Now is my chance to tell you I went to Harvard
But actually I really didn't. But I did. Actually it's complicated.
The basic fact: I have a PhD from Harvard. Also, a Masters Degree. Oh, and by the way, it is sort of a double PhD because the program I was in combined two different fields, removing only one of several requirements from each (of my choice), but I actually pretty much met all the requirements anyway plus I studied a third field for the equivalent of about a year. I was then on the teaching staff there for a few years, including creating and teaching a class that was the required intro class for all students coming into the highly prestigious and difficult to get into “Mind Brain Behavior” program. And so on and so forth. Oh, and I and colleagues recreated a novel undergraduate program that others copied. Then we created a novel way to run a PhD program, and the lead of that effort later became the Dean of the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences and deployed our program across Harvard, which then of course caused many other graduate programs around the world to follow since that is what Harvard does — it leads. Etc. Etc. and you are welcome.
A few months ago I could not have said any of that in polite company. Indeed, living here in the Midwest, I avoid talking about Harvard altogether, and I avoid talking about my PhD, because out here in Lake Woebegon having gone to Harvard is just … too much.
The truth behind the basic fact: I had been working for years in the field of contract archaeology, in which I became almost uniquely specialized in a certain area of expertise. There were only a handful of us experts in this area on the continent, so I was in demand. Long story short: I rose as high as I could in the field, eventually landing a job as one of the top dogs in Harvard’s “Institute for Conservation Archaeology.” But that institute closed down (no fault of mine!) and I found myself a) not having an advanced degree, essential for further job advancement, and b) suddenly getting interested in other areas of anthropology. Graduate school looked attractive to me, and I was already sitting there in a lab at Harvard. So why not, I figured, I’ll trick these people in to letting me pursue a PhD here! I did not choose Harvard. Harvard did not choose me. I was just there, and there I was, so I did it.
The falsehood adding nuance to the basic fact: I am not a Harvard Man. (Or Woman. Or Non-Binary Person) Harvard College is the thing. If someone “went to Harvard,” they got their BA at Harvard. I did not do that. I have a very respectable BA from elsewhere. I graduated in the top of my class, and won the top award for academic excellence at that University, 4.0 average, all of it. But it wasn’t Harvard, and at the time I’m not entirely sure I knew which city Harvard was even in. (Not Boston, in case you were thinking that.) The Harvard Graduate School of Arts and Sciences, the PhD school where I earned my PhD, is indeed prestigious and great and all that, and it is so on its merits (and therefore it may be unevenly great across disciplines). Harvard College is also great, I’m sure, but it has these other aspects of inherited privilege and snobbyness, the features that annoy Midwesterners and a lot of other people. But I did not go there so who cares? Certainly, not I. But the truth is, I’ve been repressed by ignorance. People hear “Harvard” then they get all reactionary about it, and start the repression thing, but for me, I did not go to that school that you hate/are jealous of, so leave me alone.
Sharpening The Point: There is a tradition at Harvard, during graduation, where the President says something about how great the Graduate School is, and notes that it is we GSAS students who served as the Teaching Fellows* for all the graduating undergrads in the audience over the last four years. He then asks all the GSAS Graduates to stand up for a bow. So we all stand up. Then the undergraduates also all stand up, suddenly and unexpectedly, turn toward the graduating Graduate students, and jeer, make obscene gestures, and yell at us one last time. So not only do I not have the “Harvard Degree” you were annoyed at me for having but I, like all the other PhDers at Harvard, got yelled at by those snot-nosed over privileged weenies who did. So really, leave me alone.
Why you must now respect Harvard, for at least the current news cycle: Even if you don’t care about the difference between a Harvard College Degree and a Harvard PhD degree, you have to admit Harvard is in the fight right now, on your side. Harvard was the first institution of higher learning to respond to Trump and the Republicans with something other than obsequious grovelling. Now, the Trump and the Republicans are about to throw out a third of the students at Harvard (and I think a disproportionate number of them will be in the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences, compared to the College). And instead of rolling over like many other institutions of higher learning have been doing, Harvard has responded with, “No, Trump, not today.”
This won’t last. A judge will rule Trump out of line and the Republicans will back off from this latest scheme to make Liberals cry. Harvard will prevail, not because Harvard is Great and All Powerful but because Trump is a clown and Harvard is competent, and might have a decent legal staff.
Then, a few days later, I’ll stop mentioning Harvard (I’ll delete this substack, of course), and you can go back to repressing me.
Veritas!
*At Harvard, a “teaching assistant” is a “teaching fellow.” By the way, a “dorm” is a “house,” a “fraternity” is something they have at BU, not Harvard, An “entryway” is a floor in a House (dorm), and a “Proctor” is an “RA.” Also, many of the Deans live not in a house, but in a dorm. Which is called a house.
So glad you found your way to the midwest - Lake Wobegon and all are proud to claim you!